It's hard to imagine what happens when time stands still and yet races past like a horny teenager going to a kegger. It's even harder to imagine that we are supposed to slow down and enjoy our days when it's all we can do to catch up!
I have no idea what happened these last few days except that the dark fog is slowly starting to open a few pockets of light. Depression; a big fat bitch that doesn't deserve the attention she gets and instead of poking her with a stick through the bars of the circus cage I get a first hand experience of how it feels to have this huge bitch sit on me. Even though she's getting restless and moves about once in a while I still can't really breathe.
How do I cope?
Barely.
I try to immerse myself in researching things online for myself, for my family, for our homeschool, anything. I even play on Pogo.com once in a while to allow my mind to zone out and remain detached from my present state of being. The interesting thing about depression is the desire to be alone, and with my hubby busting his ass at two jobs, one of them being really fucking shitty, is that I go to bed alone and don't socialize with my hubby until morning when he gets ready for his day job, and then I may have slept somewhat and can be in a better mood.
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